July is almost over. Have mercy. Soon it will be January and you’ll all get to listen to me whine about the the snow again. Anyway, here are the books I read this month!

First we have Mrs. Saint and the Defectives by Julie Lawson Timmer. I had to think back really hard to remember anything about this book. Not a good sign. But the book is about Markie. Markie gets a very public divorce and moves to a new town. Her home is next door to Mrs. Saint, the peskiest busybody I’ve ever read about. Mrs. Saint sort of presides over a group of people she calls the Defectives. She’s going to fix their problems whether they like it or not.

A blurb I read said this book is about healing with the help of community. So. There you go. It’s okay. The characters are written very well. But it’s overall just…not my sort of book.

Next up is Parlor Games by Maryka Biaggio.

Oh boy.

This one is a fictional take on a real woman, May Dugas. I will tell you this. Save your pennies. Skip the book and read the Wikipedia page. I gotta give credit, that May Dugas had hustle.

Next up is Lirael by Garth Nix.

I first read this many moon ago. It’s the second book in a series; the first book is Sabriel, one of my all-time favorite fantasy novels. I picked Lirael up again, enjoyed it again, and have thoughts.

Lirael is one of the Clayr. (They are clairvoyants. See what he did there?) The problem is that she can’t see the future. At all. So she starts working in the mysterious magical Clayr library to take her mind off of feeling like a total failure.

She has adventures in the ginormous magical library. Everything is going swimmingly until she has to fight an ancient evil that is threatening the kingdom.

The problem with this book is that there are entire sections told from other characters’ viewpoints, and those characters (I’m looking at you, Prince Fussypants [not his real name]) are boring. If the entire book were 100 pages shorter, it would be perfect. As is, it slogs in parts. If you can wade through Prince Fussypants’s chapters, it’s still a good read.

There are two books I did not finish this month. Oh yes. I, who can wade through just about anything, had two total failures.

The Hangman’s Daughter by Oliver Potzsch.

Never did I ever think reading about beheadings and botched executions and witchcraft and murders could be boring, but then I picked up The Hangman’s Daughter. I kept falling asleep while reading this. A boy is found dead, there’s a strange mark on his body, the local midwife is suspected, and then I kept falling asleep. So, you know. Read at your own peril.

And finally, The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough.

Everybody and their mama loves this book. Why, I don’t know. If you love sweeping sagas that are excruciatingly detailed, you’ll love it. (I don’t.)

Also. I thought this book was just…gross. I thought it was about a grown ass woman falling in love with a priest, but no. It’s about a grown ass man hanging around a little girl all the time, spending tons of time with her and then falling for her but not being with her (right away anyway) because he’d rather have a shitload of money.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Really!? If you’ve known someone since they were 9 (that’s nine) then I would be willing to bet special underwear feelings are not going to come into play. The man is a pederast. I stopped reading there because it skeeved me out so badly.

This book is some unholy horseshit.

Ahem. Those were my July books. May August be better.

See you later!