Today (the 28th) is my 28th birthday. Golden birthday gal, here. And this is also my 666th blog post, and if that isn’t irony, then I don’t know what is. First of all, I can’t believe I’ve sat down and wrote blog posts 666 times, for all twelve of you that actually read this. But that’s not why I’m writing this, the Reasons Beth Is A Crappy Blogger is a post for another day. Today I thought I would write down a few thoughts, seeing as it’s my day, this post has Satan’s approval, and why the hell not. 
Thoughts on Being 28, In List Form, Because I Love a Good List and Want the World to Know It

1. I’m not doing anything special for my birthday except making fried chicken. Fried chicken makes everything special. 
2. No gift from my husband either, because we just bought something rather large that I will mention in the future. 
3. No, it’s nothing baby related. A man can say I BOUGHT SOMETHING LARGE and everyone thinks it’s a boat. A woman says that and everyone assumes it’s a freaking crib or something. 
4. Not that that bothers me or anything.  
5. I still have no idea what I’m doing in life. I’m beginning to think this never changes, for anyone. 
6. And not knowing what in the world I’m doing is okay.
7. All you can do is take things as they come. That’s it. 
8. That being said, I have figured some things out.
9. For example, everyone should know their booze limit. I can have 3 drinks (COUNT ‘EM. ONE TWO THREE. THAT IS IT.) before I turn into an idiot. (Gin with club soda and lime, FYI.)

10. Go outside and do things. Just…go. Go and do.
11. Also, get your shit together. This means something different for every person, but you know what I mean. Get your shit together, honey. 
12. Eat the damn cake. Don’t eat the entire cake, but have a piece of cake. 
13. They say that patience comes as you get older, but I think this one is either a whopper of a lie or that it only happens for certain people.
14. I have zero patience. I acknowledge it, I deal with it. 
15. And that’s an important thing – acknowledge your faults. Accept them, work on changing them. If you constantly think everyone else is wrong or everyone else is just a big old meanypants, I am here to tell you differently, with the help of Raylan Givens. 
16. Also, that is a TV show you should watch – Justified. 
17. Once, when I was 16, I worked at a hardware store, and a guy (he was a scout leader, and really has no excuse for his behavior) yelled at me for not knowing the price of a length of pipe off the top of my head.
18. If that guy yelled at me today, he would have to visit a proctologist to have that pipe removed from his backside.
19. But it takes time to learn how to stand up for yourself. Twelve years ago that guy upset me. Today, not at all. Take no shit, my friend. No matter how old you are, there is no earthly reason for putting up
with outright rudeness. You don’t have to be a jerk about it. Kill them
with kindness if that’s your thing. But don’t put up with it.
20. There is never any acceptable reason for wearing Uggs. Just…don’t. Don’t do it.
21. Learn when to keep your mouth shut. Honestly, that’s most of the time. (I have trouble with this one.)

22. Travel. Even if it’s just a little. I love, love, love the American West. I just do. My western to-see list is massive, and I’ll get to it all someday.
23. I have stopped being embarrassed about things I enjoy. No such thing as a guilty pleasure, people. Once you have to admit that you like 6,7, maybe 8 songs by One Direction, all the shame falls away.
24. I like Star Wars. And 19th Century fashion, and hiking, and I love dogs and The Big Lebowski. My historical boyfriend is Quanah Parker and I get mad as hell about women being scrubbed out of history books.
25. I mentioned working on changing your faults. I have done this. I strive to be more patient, less snippy. But my baseline personality is just sort of crappy, so you get what you get with me. I’m not pleasant. I am okay with this. I’m the one in the corner making wank-off motions when other people talk about how they stay positive and cheerful. 
26. Honesty. Always honesty, unless it’s a truly harmless white lie like why yes, that dinner was tasty, or no, that dress isn’t the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.
27. You can only control what you can control. This is obvious and yet staggeringly difficult to come to terms with.
28. You are your own source of happiness. If you’re unhappy, make changes.

Well this was a long ramble. But it’s my birthday and I’ll ramble if I want to. 
Have a good weekend, and I shall return with more of my nonsense next week. 

2 thoughts on “On Being 28”

  1. Happy belated Golden birthday! I thought I read all of your postings, but must have missed this one over the Memorial Day weekend. Hope you celebrated with something delicious.

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