So I’m writing this (typing, whatever) on Tuesday evening, waiting for cauliflower to finish roasting in the oven. It’s in the oven because I made pulled pork and didn’t make anything to go with it, and then found a sad little head of cauliflower in the fridge that had been forgotten about.

FORGOTTEN NO LONGER. I am the Vegetable Avenger.

This post is Even More Weird Than Usual because last night I got a grand total of 4.5 hours of sleep. Guess what? At 3:30 AM, it was foggy here. Then it cleared up by 4. Aren’t you glad you know this?

Since about age 22 sleep has been either great or something that eludes me for a few weeks at a time, and the last few nights have been those kind of nights. I wish I could say my early morning thoughts were Profound Thoughts, but no. They are more like Who is Your Favorite Fictional Boyfriend* or Hey, You Haven’t Thought About Something Horrible in a Few Days, or Maybe I Should Get a Tattoo, or You Know That Thing You Haven’t Dealt With Yet? Let’s Get All Riled Up About It!
*List of Fictional Boyfriends, a List Similar To But Very Different From My List of Historical Boyfriends:

1.) Caney Paxton.
2.) Dawsey Adams.
3.) Cord Bennett.
4.) PEETA. (Duh.)
5.) Mr. Darcy. (Double duh.)

The whole ‘not sleeping’ thing is a trait that seems to bedevil the women in my family, so at least I’ve got that to look forward to; not sleeping FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. But seriously, what is it that makes you so tired, until you lie down in bed? Seriously. Does suddenly becoming horizontal pull the drain plug of your brain or something? And then all those thoughts come swirling out in a frothy tornado of stupid?


With an insane amount of luck, I shall perhaps also inherit my grandmother’s complete lack of menopausal symptoms.

A girl can dream.

3 thoughts on “I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead”

  1. So sorry for your many sleepless nights, that's got to be horrible. I have them occasionally and two in a row is one too many for me. When that happens, I'll take a Benadryl or a generic version before bedtime on the third night. I'm not recommending it as it's not for everyone, but it puts me to sleep and then I normally sleep through the night. Hope you get a good night's sleep soon.

    1. My sister uses Melatonin when she travels a lot and needs a good night's sleep.She may or may not have overslept as a result.

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