1.) Red nails are never wrong. Even if you’re timid, even if you think they’re too, you know, red.
2.) Red lipstick is never wrong. Even if you’re timid, even if you think it’s too, you know, red.
3.) Never try on a pair of skinny jeans if you have thunder thighs.
4.) Or hips wider than a 12 year old boy’s.
5.) Or if you’re wearing a pair of really thick winter socks. Unless you want to teeter around a dressing room and just about crash through the door and sprawl half naked into the store. The choice is yours.
6.) In my defense, I had never tried on a pair of skinny jeans before and didn’t realize the term ‘skinny’ was quite so literal.
7.) And now that I have tried them on, I have no idea why people subject themselves to those things.
8.) Wow, this whole thing has really gotten away from me, hasn’t it?
9.) We watch way too much Doctor Who. As evidenced by this photo of my grocery list after being altered by my husband.
10.) And I now have a head cold, so that could be why this whole rambling piece of nonsense ever saw the light of day. Except for the skinny jeans thing – totally not nonsense. Steer clear, my brethren.
I shall return on Wednesday, hopefully germ-free and with my coherency intact!