My husband has this week off work, so posting may be a bit thin on the ground ’round these parts. (As long as I’m on the subject of Thanksgiving and weeks off, lemme tell you something you might find interesting. The local school district here gives students and faculty Thanksgiving week off. For deer season. No joke. The gun deer season always coincides with Thanksgiving week, and because no one would show up if school were in session, there’s a week-long break. My husband’s place of employment also follows this tradition.)

Anyway. Because I’m going to be scarce here for a few days, I thought I’d leave you with Beth’s Tips for Having a Happy Thanksgiving!

1.) Start training today for Turkey Day. Eat salads, drink lots of water, and get that stomach in shape for turkey-and-stuffing overload.

2.) If you are hosting your family’s Thanksgiving meal, figure out your seating chart. People that can’t stand each other must go at opposite ends of the table. Those that are truly repulsive must be placed at the kiddie table.

3.) No sharp knives on the dinner table. This will keep those good-natured family squabbles from ending in emergency room visits.

4.) Wine. Lots of wine.

5.) Allow no one to be late, fashionably or otherwise. The house should go on total lockdown at a pre-approved time. This keeps Great-Aunt Agnes from glaring at Uncle Bill for the duration of the meal and muttering under her breath about him being late.

6.) Do not, under any circumstances, complain about the food. The turkey is moist and flavorful, and the canned yams are delightful. This is very important, because those who complain often receive the smallest slices of pie.

7.) If you live in an area like mine where deer season week coincides with Thanksgiving week, ladies, you have my heartfelt sympathy. Consider this a widow’s week and go out and have fun.

8.) Refrain from calling anyone a &^$*, (@&$*$(#*, $#@, or anything that begins with ‘douche-‘ or ends in ‘-bag.’

9.) Keep all electronics on lockdown during dinner. It’s Thanksgiving. No texting, and do you really need to check Facebook during dinner? No. Didn’t think so.

10.) And above all, have fun, and be thankful for everything you have in this life.

Wishing everyone a happy Thanksgiving,
The Black Spruce Hound Gang

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